Crunch time.

The whole of my adolescent life, I've been struggling. Struggling, and frankly, getting nowhere at all. Even up till now I still fail. Fail over and over and over.

Although I didn't realize it at the time, God has been with me all the while. The dark recesses of my soul, the empty promises, the words and words alone that see no action. He sees it all. Yet I cannot comprehend why in spite of all these God still loves me, and even rejoices over me. It's mind-boggling that even though I fail time and time again, each time asking for his forgiveness that He actually gives it. The amazing grace of our Lord Jesus Christ never ceases to humble me.

I've tried, time and time again by my own strength alone. And that's why I fail. Fail so completely.

I know the words, know what to say, what I'm supposed to do. But just why can't I actually do it?

I'll obey the Lord because I love him. This is what I'm going to cling onto, what I'm going to live by. For the joy of the Lord is my strength. In this test of faith, I think it's crunch time. Time to stop talking the talk and start walking the walk.

This is IT. It starts NOW.

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world
-1 John 4:4

For I can do all things through my God who strengthens me. And I know very well that my resolve is going to be tested, it will waver. I have to once and for all depend on God, depend on Him like I never have before.

My help comes from the Lord, who made the heavens and the earth!
-Psalms 121:2

We are the salt of the earth, shining God's glory for the world to see. And it's high time I started to live that way.

I won't pretend anymore. Simply put, it's now or never.

For God has said, "I will never fail you, I will never forsake you."
-Hebrews 13:5b

Amen.