Harsh Realities.

If not for the fact that the pendant was found, this post may have degenerated into an indulgence of self-condemnation. Thank God it was found, thank God.

Compared to the enjoyable mayhem that was yesterday, today was (due to the above) much more subdued. I really was nowhere near myself today, sorry. And when I'm in a mood like this, I seem to inexorably gravitate to conversations that are a great deal more gloomy than I'd like. But on the bright side I've realized alot about the way our class works, and the actual realities as opposed to the defensive self-depracation we employ. Reality hunkers in like an overgrown tramp in a small room.

Hah, what an irony. Just as well, I think I needed a huge wake up call and this is it; there's really not much time left, and in order to reach the standards set by others (and I honestly honestly believe this) in clarity, lucidity, vocabulary and style and in short everything I'm going to need for the A's I need to start working and improving now. This disillusionment better count for something because I'm most definitely not up to scratch.

The reversal of fortunes is complete: now we are the ones feeling intimidated. These barriers must be cast down, or we will never truly learn from each other. Let's see how it goes from here;






My disillusionment today runs on another level as well, but that's a long story for a place that is not a public blog. Am feeling utterly confused and more than a little lost.