Let this banner and the proliferation thereof take over the world.

Okay maybe not anything as dramatic as that, but friends spread pls (:

(kudos to audrey!)





































:D


(edit: okay things are in full swing and getting faster! tmr's house speeches plus canteen rally plus filming of video cos the councillors lost our video >:(!!! gotta have faith that God'll pull me through. it's going to be tough!

On a much brighter note, THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE SUPPORT x)

/edit)

Play! (the band j1 concert) last night was a much much needed break from everything. I really enjoyed myself; music was great (beauty and the beast theme! my favourite disney song), the actual play itself was impressively put together (Jiawei for the script that was him all over haha, and Jiayun for the clever directing despite all the constraints - it was good!) And Jiayun's flute playing is (there's no other word to describe this --) beautiful. Whoa. (I'd like to hear Jiawei playing jazz!) We even saw Sibu again, haha I think that place'll be forever engraved in a corner of my heart.

The after concert high is something that I miss, I think almost nothing beats that euphoria. There's something magical about music, something I don't want to let slip away from my life -- haha like my piano teacher suggested maybe I really shd go play in hotels.

Before I say anything else about campaign I'd like to thank A01A and all my friends for being such an awesome bunch (: I really really appreciate the help you guys are giving; even if this doesn't pull through, I can't express my gratitude enough. (Especially Audrey! You've been amazing (= Zhihao too! for the advice thats really helped alot, alot.) Next week is it! Time to execute.




(EDIT: In the chaos of this one week I think I've lost touch with whats really important. I need to start finding and enjoying times of solitude which have been all too fleeting this week. To reflect, think, and just bask in the feeling of, well, being. I need to pray more. much much more. Lord You have been taking me through every step of the way, help me to just put everything at Your feet and to depend entirely on You because I know that my strength is not enough.

I'm sorry for the disjointed nature of this post I'm stealing time off to pen these thoughts down. And before I forget, good luck to everyone who's campaigning, we share a collective lack of sleep and way too much stress ><

Cheers!)

Campaigning's going to start in full swing soon and the preparation is already killing me.

Leaning on the Lord's strength to pull me through, whatever the outcome at least I can say: what an experience it has been/is going to be. Getting to this point has already been a huge blessing.

-Cue shameless self-publicisation-

Vote for T_T! (Tze Ern and Tian Kai hahahahhaa)

Wow 250th post. Good that it's going to be a lot more cheerful then ^_^

Somehow nature has a way of settling me down and helping me think through whats been going on. The last time I saw so many stars was in Sibu, and its no coincidence that there and then was the last time I felt so content.

I've been reacting and not thinking, which is something I have to learn to stop. Time isn't exactly slipping out of my hands now, so yes we live and learn. Although I don't agree with most of the stuff I posted just yesterday and the day before, I think it's instructive to leave it there, as a reminder to myself.

Gotta have a little more faith.

About the posts earlier, I'm just thinking aloud here; don't take everything I write that seriously. Especially the um more figurative language.

A conversation I'm having with someone now has got me thinking about whether I really know what my friends are like. Oh, the 'girlfriend element' certainly changes people...

The illogicality and irrationality of this strikes me; reminds me of the Houyhnhnms, and how man cannot solely be governed by pure rationality, because we are inherently emotional creatures. Apparently I learnt more from Gulliver's than I thought.

Hmmmm I wonder. The general idea seems to be working fine for now.

Ahh in any case, there's no point to all this thinking. The clock still turns!

Imagine theres a proverbial brick wall that I'm just bashing myself upon, and I can't see whats on the other side.

Where do we go from here? I'm really not sure, and I don't know what to think. Am feeling ambivalent about the future.

Futsal at tampines was quite fun. 5 goals for a defender, even though I bet mr lu was rather irritated with me for being extremely lazy.

Harsh Realities.

If not for the fact that the pendant was found, this post may have degenerated into an indulgence of self-condemnation. Thank God it was found, thank God.

Compared to the enjoyable mayhem that was yesterday, today was (due to the above) much more subdued. I really was nowhere near myself today, sorry. And when I'm in a mood like this, I seem to inexorably gravitate to conversations that are a great deal more gloomy than I'd like. But on the bright side I've realized alot about the way our class works, and the actual realities as opposed to the defensive self-depracation we employ. Reality hunkers in like an overgrown tramp in a small room.

Hah, what an irony. Just as well, I think I needed a huge wake up call and this is it; there's really not much time left, and in order to reach the standards set by others (and I honestly honestly believe this) in clarity, lucidity, vocabulary and style and in short everything I'm going to need for the A's I need to start working and improving now. This disillusionment better count for something because I'm most definitely not up to scratch.

The reversal of fortunes is complete: now we are the ones feeling intimidated. These barriers must be cast down, or we will never truly learn from each other. Let's see how it goes from here;






My disillusionment today runs on another level as well, but that's a long story for a place that is not a public blog. Am feeling utterly confused and more than a little lost.

A big big BIG thank you to everyone who has made my birthday this year such a blast!



In absolutely no particular order:



09A01A for the delicious cake (of which I ate 4 pieces of ahh I'm turning fat.) and surprise yesterday and the song today (where they made me hold the lighted candles and just sang; whose bright idea was this!?) plus the fantastic but nonetheless horribly-drawn card (kartik!!)



My cousins and sister for designing and framing up a fantastic looking board with photos and notes; a hugely unexpected surprise



Merrill and Slau for the shockingly expensive nike ManU shirt that they gave me (thanks alot alot alot!)


Tabbi and Nicole for the red nike shoebag that is lightyears better than my current one

BW06 for the small blackforest cake from breadtalk and birthday song before assembly

4p'07! What can I say? The insanely rich chocolate mousse, the stuffing of my face (T_T) into said chocolate mousse, the crazily designed board with random scribblings and messages from the class (super havoc hahaha reminds me of last year ^^) and the birthday song that literally echoed around the canteen; really miss you guys! 4P is and will remain the best class I could ever ask for in RI. You guys rock =D

And lastly everyone who remembered (or did not remember but still found out) and wished me ^^


Its the first time in a long long while that I've had a birthday fall during the school term, and everyone has made it one to cherish and remember. I think I have the awesomest friends. (:

Cheers, you guys made my week!

I'll be glad when this is over with, I'm sick, struggling with the essay (my lit is really a lot worse than I expected) and abit...hmm I dunno how to put it. Disaffected and not at the same time. Ahh will this feeling go away.

On a happier note, my cousins gave me a very very nice birthday board (like a card, only bigger) that was framed up. Oh, with balloons too ^^
Thanks very very much (:

Let me quickly post something before I nod off. Back from camp (which ended early YESS). We didn't do much other than train, all the matches (except for a sad 25 minutes -_-) were played by the competition squad so...futsal during training made up a little for it though. Ahwell.

Am really very worried for chengwen, hope that he's 100% alright >< If not I don't know how I'm going to live with the guilt. Damn

After slogging for more than a year, to not get into the team is cruel, plain and simple. You deserved it more than some who did. GN, I'm really really sorry. =/

Headed down to ECP with the class today, cycled (for a while at least) and taught jiayun and austin how to cycle; both learnt quite well hahaha job well done. Austin didn't have too much difficulty after learning how to pedal off, but jiayun on the other hand had uhh certain encounters with dustbins, trees, lampposts, some poor kid, and on two memorable occasions a rubbish cart. But aiya you learnt well la!

Lunched at subway (again! whats with 1A and subway I have no idea) then was kinda forced by the gloomy weather out of ECP and so we headed to dhoby ostensibly to watch a movie but ended up pooling instead. Was fun! Even though she'd never played before (or shock! horror! set foot in a place like paradiz ever) jiayun and I still managed to play henry and shinyi to a 2-3 loss.

(Whoa honestly jiayun you learn fast. Although the less said about your aiming in pool and your turning while biking the better... -_-)

Hahaha okay I will stop poking fun already. Followed the guys to Thai Xpress, then left them there to meet jeremy and the twins at orchard to celebrate our joint birthdays. Thank you for the shoebag! :D Dinner didn't last very long cause they had to rush back home due to extreme parental anger, ahh ohwell hopefully we'll have a next time.

Had a long ride home with jeremy, talked abt quite a lot of stuff, rj and vj soccer in particular. Ahhh wish he could've stayed in rj. Our parting words were 'eh okay see you...uh....soon la!' I hope soon isnt that far off T_T

Soccer camp tmr! I just finished my packing list, shd start packing in a bit.

I HOPE I STAY UNINJURED AND WELL THROUGHOUT CAMP.

MAY I BE ABLE TO PLAY.

I'm slightly incoherent now but just needed to pen down today before the chaos that is camp.

You abridge my words; cause me to stumble
Hopelessly, praying a slight brush of speech
Will tell you the moon and the stars.

I promise a much more detailed entry soon. Enjoying the feeling of having (pretending) nothing to do. A level results were released yesterday, went down with the class to help out (while actually doing nothing in particular there). Was supposed to head down at 930 but uhhh I overslept T_T The alarm clock's ringing doesn't register anymore.

Headed down to town with the class in the evening after that, somehow even if we don't do much in particular the time spent with everyone is still enjoyable. Didn't know you could see stars in orchard! :O

I'm really really thankful that our class is staying together, that we'll still remain 09A01A even with the release of humanities scholarships. Yesterday I felt like a great deal was off my mind not because of the scholarship, but because we won't be forced to split up; I felt happy last night, that God really answered all my prayers, spoken and unspoken hopes and fears. There's really so much to be thankful for. But talking it out just now made the reality that some people didn't get the scholarship so much more apparent and real. I'm feeling very bad for those who didn't get it now, especially brian because I think he deserves it more than anyone else. I'd give up my scholarship for him, to tell the truth. The scholarship doesn't mean as much because to me the class and the programme have been my priorities, not the money. But the disappointment I saw was heartwrenching. It's not fair, honestly.

Blogging at Zhengxuan's house now while the rest of the guys're playing halo and waiting for the Champs league matches to start. Just came from supper after watching "Black Comedies and Light Tragedies". The first two plays were alright, while I was really impressed with the suspense evoked in the play after the intermission. Great physical theatre, although my opinion admittedly doesn't hold that much weight.

I couldn't say the words I wanted to say, and in the end all that came out was words that meant nothing. Is this how things are meant to remain? Aberrations...?

Sibu

Class camp was an amazing, amazing experience.

I think I'll actually do a photopost when Jiayun and Grace've uploaded their photos (thanks both of you!), looking forward to seeing them (!!!)

I'll talk about the rest of the days when I get the photos, but I have to say the last night was one of the most magical nights of my entire life. The jetty where I just felt this huge sense of belonging, the talking and sharing with the class illuminated by the autumnal orange glow of the lamps, watching the ocean blend with the horizon and the sky into a pitch-black void that was simply amazing to behold. Later, lying together on the beach, singing, sharing, talking, laughing; lying on our backs and watching the stars slowly wink into existence, wondering whether the stars were really still there or whether we were just watching their dying embers from eons ago, watching the ocean waves and listening to the surf crash onto the beach, enjoying the poignant silences punctured by the rustling of the wind through the tree branches and falling asleep by the shore. (and later waking up shivering with cold cause I didn't wear long pants. thanks for the jacket, my legs would've frozen if not for it [: ) and later watching the clouds get brighter (it really wasn't a sunrise, unfortunately) until it was time to go.

I wish I could've captured that moment and preserved it for eternity, to make that single moment last forever and ever. I felt really, really happy that whole night. Maybe if I put it into verse I'll be able to do so, but I doubt my poetry is any good. Words couldn't really do it justice. At the end of it there's this sense of loss that the moment's gone, it can't be recreated anymore no matter how hard I try, but what's left is the memories of it; memories that I hope will never fade. Maybe in this little post I can capture and remember what it felt like. Maybe I won't lose it. Nights like these really must come more often, but I guess what Jiayun said was right: its precisely because these moments are so fleeting and elusive that they are so precious.

I'll end on that. The rest of the camp was just as special, but this moment was really the defining moment for me. I wish things will stay as they are right now.

Hiatus' over. and I'm feeling alot more at peace with things now. I'm thankful for the wonderful promise that You've given, that things aren't over, not by a long shot. He's just gone for the moment;

A longer post up soon.