I don't know whether I can blog again, at least for the forseeable future.

Interview tmr.

-cue ominous music-

I'm really glad for my friends and my class, who've been so collectively awesome that I can just head to school no matter what my mood or mental state and always be cheered up :)

Take 5 was fantastic, had a lot of fun playing soccer (we got second hahaha wasted. Shoutout to EDIT(i'm very sorry i forgot): PAUL jerome hanlin wang qiaoer skoh tiankai andrea yanhan and sharon!) and walking around with friends, wish I had a little more time to spend with the class though, really wanted to just sit around, picnic, and talk. Looking forward to class camp though whoo.

Humanz party was quite fun, HAHA our great depression theme was hilarious, even though some people looked bemused at us and our insider jokes (vietnam quoc dan dang!) we're still awesome. Qianwei's mind works damn fast la all his nonsense (which were actually funny xD). Wish I could've stayed a lil longer though. Starting to enjoy being around the people in the class alot.

'The only business I can do nowadays is in the toilet'
-Qianwei, still in character.

Didn't go training today cause I've been sick for the past week and needed alot alot alot of rest (which I got today). Thanks for the concern everyone :)

Yikes. The reality that social dynamics really have changed has just hit me. I should be a little more conscious to avoid being in sticky situations like some people are now. T_T

Looking forward to Take 5 and having fun, then humanz party after that with happy times at kartik's house :) Hahaha the sentence sounds really weird but i like. Sorry I'm feeling kinda off kilter now haha.

ASAP I'm going to improve my passing and crossing. It's really really cmi now. I hope I recover for the match tomorrow.

The drive and determination is there, but if I am meant to pour it into something else then I actually feel at peace with it. I will not let my motivations change.

How self-absorbed we are, that we complain that 'LIFE DAMN TOUGH' at the slightest provocation or failure, that we lose sight of what really is important.

Lalala.

CNY so far has been okay. Nothing really out of this world. Except Mass Effect, of which I finally completed after 34 odd hours.

I'm abit more at peace now about the way things are, abit more attuned. I'll probably look back upon this period a few weeks/months from now and think of how much better things were, but that's just life haha. Or maybe I won't. Depends.

Got lots of exciting stuff to look forward to in the next few weeks! Take 5, Malaysia trip with A01A (should be bundles of fun), etc. I hope my ankle and my throat clear up and get better.

Should stop saying 'I want', and stop making arrogant judgements.

Lord, not my will but Yours. Amen.

On a separate note,

09A01A YOU ARE AWESOME :D

I've been meaning to say this for some time.

Life's h-h-heating up but I'm slowing down.

Adventure leadership thingy on 13th Feb which I signed up for on a whim. Wonder if I can actually commit to it, have to take another look at the dates. It seems really really interesting though.

Council nominees out today. Inexorably, the train starts to move.

On another note, my bag is ubiquitous. Yes, I know what the word means ^^

As a mark of how remarkably inefficient (or lazy, if you will) I am, today marks the first time I've actually looked at my graduation night photos!

Brings back alot of happy memories, and of the experiences that I had in RI that I will carry to my dying day. If RJ as anywhere near as awesome an experience, I'll take it.

Have been using the weekend primarily as an extended sleeping session, other than a brief sojourn to YGH, which might have been better used. So I've been alternately doing essays, chatting to people and thinking. (not necessarily in that order) I don't want to get used to the monotony of school where I survive the day of lectures and tutorials, either head for training or head home to sleep and do work. MSN has become something of a luxury, scarily.

The past two weeks haven't been very uplifting. Alot of my own pretensions have been hopelessly jarred, and the nice pink cloud has dissipated, leaving behind...what? Self-introspection is something that I haven't been doing much since the start of this year. Maybe cause I don't want to know what I'll find. I need to stop being such an asshole. Wake up!

The dumb thing about posting when I'm in a bad mood is that my mood invariably gets better because I post, and that makes me want to take off my previous post, which kind of defeats the purpose of posting in the first place.

So what I'm trying to say is, I'm okay!

Face down in the dirt.

And it hurts.

I'm trying hard to have faith, to believe that everything happens for a reason, as part of a plan. I don't know what'll happen if I fail at this last, largest hurdle. Because apparently I've crashed headlong into the previous ones. I still bear the scars.

Smile for others when you can't smile for yourself.

Everything is in full swing now, but I get the express feeling that I'm somehow out of the loop. Not because I'm behind in tutorials or whatever (surprisingly), but this period feels discomfortingly uncertain. I'd like to be able to settle into my JC life as soon as possible, but until the interviews come and go I don't think I'll have that luxury.

Humanities scholarship interview on Monday. I'd tell myself that it's better to be early and get it over with quickly but I don't think unpreparedness is a trade-off I'm particularly happy with. I was supposed to be reading up on current affairs but bbc.co.uk provided a deluge of said news that sadly dampened all enthusiasm. I really stink at interviews. May all go well.

I'm glad that friends are going to be staying in soccer, even though floorball has called and council is calling. I wonder if I'll be able to get past the interview. See above for my thoughts on interviews. You will understand my lack of optimism.

P-------. How I hate it.

I think if I want to continue blogging a change of address will be contemplated.

But anyway.

The past week (it's exactly 7 days since we stepped into RJC!) has been the living definition of a whirlwind experience. I'll admit that I wasn't all that pumped up and excited like some people were about orientation and jc life in general, but I guess an open mind really goes a long, long way. Thank you BW06 for making my orientation experience so awesome. I love you guys! :D
A huge shoutout to our OGLs as well, especially Zhen Nan! who has been every inch the perfect OGL. Can't thank you enough. I really hope we can all stay in touch. We don't fall into conventions, we defy them.

I won't try putting everything into words, because I'd like to do everything enough justice but some things are indescribable. Watching T'sparanza burn has to be one of the most powerful experiences I've ever had. Time will tell whether the words of our batch song ring true, but I pray it does. I really, really do.

Pictures tell a thousand words.

But I have none, so I'll end off this post. Trials tomorrow, a cacophony of voices are ringing in my ear but I need to know which path I must take.

T_T

School starts tomorrow..

I need to take a picture of my table filled totally full with the anime stuff I bought from Tokyo ^^

..and pack it.

ずるずるずるずるずる

止めてください

日本を大好きです。
本当に大好きです。
北海道はきれいです。白いの雪;凄い。白いの景色、信じられないい。

楽しかった。
よかった。
新しいの信念。


忘れていません。
未来に、帰るよ。
約束。

(Side note:
秋葉原が大好きです。
悪いの日本語:　ごめんね。
まだまだ。）

Back, but this air of surrealness refuses to dissipate. In fact, it just gets murkier, and I'm enmeshed in a nightmare of sorts.

Neck pains.