I need to take a picture of my table filled totally full with the anime stuff I bought from Tokyo ^^

..and pack it.

ずるずるずるずるずる

止めてください

日本を大好きです。
本当に大好きです。
北海道はきれいです。白いの雪;凄い。白いの景色、信じられないい。

楽しかった。
よかった。
新しいの信念。


忘れていません。
未来に、帰るよ。
約束。

(Side note:
秋葉原が大好きです。
悪いの日本語:　ごめんね。
まだまだ。）

Back, but this air of surrealness refuses to dissipate. In fact, it just gets murkier, and I'm enmeshed in a nightmare of sorts.

Neck pains.

My 360 is dead
Long live the 360 (that I have to pay $159.43 to get from msoft, the ripoffs.)

Damnit.

It's been a month, but now I'm finally enjoying my holidays. ^^

Realize I've been quite reclusive recently. But its nice that I can be happy at home, of course games/anime/huge screens have helped alot alot.

Hooray for the paragon! (hope my 360 doesn't die on me please don't please don't >_<)

Solitude.

Where do we strike the balance?

HELLO I'm back, if only for a little while. Things have been flying/buzzing/shooting by recently, quiet moments have come and gone (even if they are a bit too fleeting) but interspersed are a whole load of stuff that are in turn exciting, frustrating, and sometimes both at once. Can't recall enough things to actually do a full account, so I won't even bother but who cares I'm enjoying myself for the most part so that's all that matters ^^

I need to find a new blogskin, cos it looks out of whack with my new monitor.

(Shepard calls but I can't answer. Damn.)

Raffles.

4p.

and need we look further to what defines us?
thanks for all the memories guys.
it ain't over.

manchester united are awesome.

16 goals in 4 games O_O

I love stories. Which is why I read, why I watch, why I game. For the plots, the infinite possibilities that each hold, limited only by the writer's imagination and frailties. I live for the stories that take me away from reality, to escape from the sometimes bleak situations that I find myself in. To live in another world, if only just for awhile. (This is why I hate spoilers.)

So why are so many of the characters that I've grown to know and love, (even though you may scoff that they aren't real at all), why are so many of them dying? Why is it that innocence lost is a good thing?

I wrote my poetry analysis for our lit eoy on the power of words, and its something that I believe very strongly in. But words can hurt. Words can break a heart.

I've been blogging phwoar alot, but enough is enough I shall be over miserableness and start to live again. I mean, life is too beautiful for that. At least thats what I'll continue to believe and damned if everything seems to conspire to make me cynical but I won't I won't I won't.

I'M GETTING HALO 3 ON LAUNCH DAY YAY (:

Who's free on 25th Sept! Follow me down to Suntec and get the free goodie bag hahaha.


On another note,
United's season is finally back on track, but the grinding out of victories is worrying me :x When's the free flowing football of last season going to come back! SAF, think think think.

Apparently blogger says this is my 200th post.

When I'm With You - Simple Plan

I'm taking my time
I'm trying to leave the memories of you behind
I'm gonna be fine
As soon as I get your picture right out of my mind

[Chorus:]
I wanna feel the way you make me feel when I'm with you
I wanna be the only hand, you need to hold on to
But everytime I call you don't have time
I guess I'll never get to call you mine

You're nothing at all,
I know theres a million reasons why I shouldn't call
With nothing to say,
could easily make this conversation last all day

[Chorus]

Another lesson I didn't get to learn
Your my obsession
I've got nowhere to turn



I know that somewhere within all my blog posts lies the real me. But I have no bloody idea where. I don't know why I make the effort to be certain way. When does it actually make a difference, really?

There's an important distinction between solitude and loneliness.

Why is everyone drifting away?

whoa, I want to hate you half as much as I hate myself

Seems like no one's all there nowadays. We're all cracking in little ways, but its the little rifts that are irreparable. Thanks, huh.

I've been oversleeping WAY too much. And slacking. Damn.



Did some careers matchmaking thing awhile ago ( -_- ) and got these results.




1.
Social Worker

2.
Addictions Counselor

3.
Rehabilitation Counselor

4.
Recreation Therapist

5.
Lobbyist

6.
Politician

7.
Psychologist

8.
Sport Psychology Consultant

9.
Mediator

10.
Judge



11.

Actor



Interesting.

I'm feeling a little random today, so I shall talk abit about poetry.

Poetry needs soul. It needs emotion to drive it, whether its a cathartic listnessness, or full-blown angst, poetry without this is just words randomly thrown into a few lines. This was one of the chief reasons why watching poetry slam a few weeks back made me cringe. Alot.

How can someone presume to write a poem about loss and separation and make it work (phwoar without you), if they have no idea what it feels like? Sure, there's TV and songs, but as to the validity of the entertainment industry as a good teacher of emotion, I leave you to decide. Writing about things you simply don't know about; I'm sorry but it just doesn't work.

I used to detest poetry, but a good one is to be savoured.







Rediscovery is the keyword here. I'm holding out for meaning.

Okay I need to scare myself abit to force myself to start work.

Maths

• Matrices
• Circular Measure
• Trigonometry (bloody huge topic)
• Differentiation (and applications thereof which is something I still don't get)
• Integration
• Vectors (I almost forgot this)
• Probability (I need to learn this from scratch)
• Statistics (Ditto above)

And it doesn't help matters that I've forgotten the first 2 topics almost entirely. I say I have the next 4 days to finish all these. I say it is impossible, but my revision schedule (which I've just come up with on the spot) says I must. 23 days left I think.

Cue panic button.

Gone through Physics and Chem and Bio already, but each quite briefly, and I need to practice. I have no idea how I will accomplish everything on time. And here I am still playing GTA. -_-

How!

Conversation can make my day; I'm weird like that.

Talking with Ms Johnson today has given me a bit more focus and direction in order to get what I want to get. I know what my priorities are, but I wish I could just shunt the rest aside and leave them alone, alas it is not to be.

DMP this year, I conclude, consists alternatively of a lot of stoning during chinese and during free breaks. How I hate having to stay back for extra tests. At least tmr's the last one.

Anyway, thanks Jo, you brightened up my day ^^

It's been a long time since I actually posted anything of note, and I wouldn't blame any one of you if you stopped reading cause frankly there hasn't been anything interesting.

Theres so much inside me thats begging to be said but I don't know how to put it into words, or perhaps I'm scared about what these words will reveal. Not just to everyone, but to myself. Truth may be just a word.

Past few days have been a struggle mentally, and I haven't felt so inadequate for pretty damned long. I have no idea whose expectations I'm living up to, why I struggle, fight, why I spend many nights tossing and turning in bed unable to just fall asleep, and instead struggle with my thoughts and emotions, just to make me feel- I don't know. I don't know what it makes me feel, and maybe therein lies the problem because I can't name what I'm feeling, and I have no idea what I'm supposed or rather what I can do about it. So instead its left there and it saps away my energy, saps away my spirit until I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I while the time away trying to study but I can't, because my mind and soul's just not in it.

Maybe it's saying something that the time at which I'm happiest has been while dreaming. Some of my dreams are ridiculous but from others I attain a new degree of clarity, others reveal my innermost thoughts and desires that I don't dare confront. I don't know what to make of all of them but one thing's clear: it's my way of escape.

Hah. Ironic isn't it. I can tell others to face their problems but I keep going because of these forms of escape, watching movies, listening to music, reading books, playing games, these help me escape from reality; emotional fix maybe, yes even games I play them for story as much as gameplay. These help keep me sane, help me feel human.

I can't put my thoughts in order because I think there's been so much thats been kept in for so long that it's all threatening to spill out, every last one. I hate the incongruity of this.

There's so much to say.

I can say that I haven't been emo for a long time, but that may or may not be true. I wonder if anyone saw this whole post coming, cause certainly I didn't. Now I see the allure and dangers of being emo (though I detest this word). It helps I guess to think of your situation of being 'woe is me the whole world is against me ohno' because it gives you this prerogative of sorts, the mindset that somehow no one can help, that feeling of wallowing in misery and lying there stuck like a pig in mud. It's abit like 'fine since I'm feeling so damn miserable I'm going to act it and enjoy it'. Is this catharsis?

Purging of emotion.