It's a strong front I have to put up now, for more reasons than one.

Damnit I'm just so freaking exhausted.

And I'm forcing myself to head to church tmr even when I think I need to sleep in.

Go figure.

Hahahaha walao crazy day out. I'm feeling dead la -.-

Trials was actually quite fun, just that I couldnt run to my best cos I'm still unwell >_< Ah well I scored a goal as a right-back yay hahaha hope i can get it ohwells =S

Meeting with DAS went well! Whoa everything's falling into place very good (Y)

Transformers was not bad, its nice if you're an action junkie, cos the CGI is fantastic. Plot's loose, and the ending's rubbish. But if you're an action junkie those won't matter anyway.

Another busy day tmr. I need to snap back, like a rubber band. Hope it doesn't hurt.

Hell of a day on tmr.

Pray that I'll make it through this month, cos I do feel like I'm being stretched here and there and pretty much everywhere and sooner or later I realize that something will snap, and that something is me. Everything is taking its toll.

Going for soccer trials tmr, even if I have no idea if I'll get it ah but what the heck anyway and I'm not feeling too good at the moment hope I'm okay tmr mm.

Its rather nice and somehow liberating to just talk in runon sentences that just seem to blabber everything out incoherently and yes incoherent is the word here lalala I think I should go sleep soon I don't sound very sober.

Eeeks. Sorry if I haven't been replying your tags people, I'll get to them soon!

Went for CM outing today, and I'm whacked out. More tiring than I expected, but hey it was still fun. Caught up with people I haven't seen for close to a month. Haha missed the whole load of them.

Learnt, or rather, realized something today. Happiness is where you find it. Last time I liked to live in the past, cause it always looked more ideal and I always feel I was happier back then but recently I realized just how naive that really is. If you can't find happiness in the present, you'll never find it anywhere.

(although its hard to do so when applications of differentiation's breathing down your neck)

But thats beside the point.

Last day of hols. One of the best, definitely. I'll miss it terribly.
Can't believe school starts tmr. -smacks forehead-

Oddly, math is the only subject that makes me want to swear. As in really swear. For instance; when I just can't grasp applications of differentiation at all despite my best efforts.

When I stare at the questions on the supplementary worksheet, they stare back.

Harder.

ZZZ there had better be no ta next week.

-Insertexpletiveofchoice- school.

Thing's aren't looking very good.

Damn.

Thanks (:

It's time to move on.

It's been ages since I last posted, and yes I know that alot of pictures are due. But that's for a time other than today.

(Note to self: I am freaking unfit.)

(Note to readers: this is an utterly random post that serves as an outlet.)





Was wondering after reading a post of someone's blog. Have I really moved on, or am I deceiving myself like the countless times before. It's much easier to go through life believing a lie to make it all seem better, but these things have a nasty way of cropping up at the worst moments. So, the question remains: am I living a lie? How can I be sure of anything? And damnit when will I stop? I really need to resolve all these issues, and fast.

I should feel happy...but I'm not. There's a lot of things I want in my life, but am I asking for too much? Perhaps I should just feel happy with what I have. But there's a part of me that remains...incomplete, for lack of a better word. Something, that no matter how hard I try, remains obstinately and frustratingly not there. The path is laid; I can't tread it.

How. Can. I. Stop. Living. This. Lie.

Gentlemen, we've got a crisis on our hands.

I have no idea how I'm going to settle Founder's Day tmr. Seriously. One person unable to play, another sick and have gotten into a fight, and no freaking score. Yay, what, am I supposed to go there and sight read the whole freaking thing? In 15 minutes? In front of the whole school?

Oh, and we have to do it without mallets as well. Joy.

SATURDAY EVENING SERIOUSLY JUST WON'T COME WITHOUT A FIGHT LA.

Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed

Leave out all the rest by Linkin Park is my new favourite song (y) Not the most original or groundbreaking song, but I like it anyway so hah.

Watched Pirates yesterday! Too many characters, didn't play around at all with Jack's father (which is supposed to be a super opportunity to provide insight into Jack but noooo he gets 2 minutes of screen time), convoluted plot with too many betrayals that you don't feel any connection with any character-

-But of course, there's always Johnny Depp. (y)

Preview tickets are (y)

Blue dragon is an awesome gameeeeeee

Respect is difficult to earn, and easy to lose.

Keep that in mind.

I can't wait for the trip. Come on come on won't saturday evening come any sooner

!!!

New blogskin!

I've had time since finishing revision and english so here's a nice new blogskin :)

I distinctly remember promising one 6 months ago. I remembered!

Pics for taonan gathering next time I post! (Promise.)

Yep, we finally held our taonan gathering (which has been 3 years in the waiting), and although I didn't really know what to expect, we had fun (:

It's always nice to learn that there's something about the lot of us that makes us click, even though its been so long. Yay.

I think I surprised myself on Sunday night. Although it was kinda unexpected for me, I'm glad that one way or the other it's finally over. Thankyou! It's really nice to know that even though we haven't been in contact much we're still good friends (y) Talk more yes!

Didn't go to school today because I was totally whacked out yesterday. No energy whatsoever, but my 13 hour sleep has helped things :D Now to start mugging for SS proper. And finishing English. I shall finally do my 2 hour HCL exam tmr. Boo.




I pray that I'll learn to let myself go.
I can do this!

I didn't realize I needed it that much until I read it.

Thank you. You saved me.

THANK YOU BLOGGER the interface is finally fixed!

!!!

Auditions today were a non-event. As in, no one turned up. Oh joy.

I shall point to jorel's latest post on his blog because it's actually coherent and (dare I say it) one that didn't make me do this:

-facepalm-

Although this state didn't last very long for I started to talking to him on msn.





My frustration with certain things have enforced in me patience of a sort. The patience to wait until my obligations are over then I can have free rein to say whatever I want. My nerves are worn thin.

Whenever I'm feeling empty I know what's the reason, but I'm scared that I can't return, not because of anything else but because of my own failings. Sighh.

It's sometimes liberating to be vulnerable (NOT EMO ITS DIFFERENT).

Why is it that people laugh when others are honest about love? These same people experience the same feelings, but they laugh at others to make themselves feel better.

It's very nice to post random thoughts in random paragraphs randomly. Like, in a randomizer. Carvin-style.

Eh blogger admin if you see this can you please fix your create post page. Thankyouverymuch.

I wanted to post some long post but I'm too tired and inspiration just isn't forthcoming so I guess thats it for today. Toodles.

It's been a long weekend.

I'd rather not go through it again, cos I'm totally and completely drained.

It's been one bombshell after another.

And alot of revelations and truths I have been forced to confront.

I've been hit once too many times, and I think if things had gone on I would have just lost it. Not being melodramatic, but that's the way it is.

So I'm really thankful that one way or another some things have been resolved.

But I can't help feeling that more than one part of me has been lost in this whole period.

I'm scared I've lost -------

And I'm scared I can never regain it.

I'm sorry

I'm sorry

Blogging is increasingly becoming a chore, because of the screwed up create post template. Grrrrrrrrrrr it looks like blogger stopped halfway while creating the page, leaving an infuriating mismash that reminds me of some of my primary school art pieces.

Math over today. Good. Bio to go. Time to stop slacking and start mugging again >_<

And I just received a piece of news that has ruined my mood. I don't want to perform for founder's day!!

Kao.

And it's on the day I'm leaving for Japan some more. Ladidum -_-