Alright after 268 posts I'm going to let this blog gently die and fade away.

It's been fun, and some posts I think are meaningful enough to be kept.

I know I just changed the layout, but who cares haha.

If you want my new address ask me. It's not very hard to guess!

EDIT: New blog up.  I have no idea who's reading my blog now so if you want the address ask me haha

Now I wonder if I've been doing the right thing all this while! Ohhhh how complicated things can be.

Heading to school for PW in about 2 hours time, then to yelin's house. I'm going to be absolutely bushwhacked tonight.

I feel like I'm on the verge of some monumental decision.

Living like this isn't living either.

Too much on my mind now. How am I going to finish any work!?

A quick change to a new simple layout, before its off to start work.

Just came home from Shakespeare 24. After RI performed its play (which was a tragedy), the Hwachong and RJ plays (both comedies - Twelth Night and Midsummer's Night Dream which are my favourite Shakespearean comedies) stole the show completely. Was enjoyable in the end! Jotham's running commentary was entertaining though.

Words feel woefully inadequate.

Haha I really shouldn't have been doing this considering I still have the taking sides essay to do (of which I've only touched the introduction) but I was reading old blog posts and other people's old blog posts from the beginning of this year and I realize that time has really flown and suddenly we find ourselves smack in the middle of term 2 week 6; deadlines are approaching work's a neverending pile and our college commitments haven't even started yet.

Makes me really appreciate term 1. Life now is exciting for different reasons though and the class and friends have made school something to look forward to still (homeroom after lessons and lunch is full of nonsense hahaha), so while I miss what we had a few weeks back and the collection of memories that I'd like to frame up forever, life has to go on. I'm glad that things are still moving along in fresh ways.

We take stock, cherish what we have gone through, and with all that we've learnt and experienced so far in hand, the future isn't that daunting.

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray
To be only yours
I know now
You're my only hope

Renew in me a belief in the power of prayer; I've been praying without actually believing that everything I pray for will come true. Mere hope is not faith.

Would you lie with me and
just forget the world?

5 hours of sitting in an lt, writing on slips of paper and not being allowed to talk to people was quite the torture.

Haha some things are now quite interesting that they're in a new light.

And zzz I just lost my entire train of thought when a huge spider with white stripes crawled across my screen its eyes were on stalks and moving around for goodness sake, I hate spiders

I'm being very unproductive!

Is it selfish to want more? (I'm not talking about anything council related here)

These 2 years are indeed really short.

Arghhh my personality type infuriates me sometimes.

What a week this has been.

Tuesday was results, and really, to God be all the glory. Getting into council was a huge blessing and I'm really, really thankful for this opportunity. More on this later.

I was abit zoned out for the rest of the week, trying to do my PI which still isn't done, as well as the impending council camp. Thursday and friday, though both were napfa days, were enjoyable; had quite a good econs talk on thursday after school (at least the first speaker was good, the other one sounded like he was going to have a heart attack any minute) and then dinner! with classmates. Had a great time, we must have more dinners like these! Had fun bingeing on turkish ice cream on friday after frustratingly getting a bronze for napfa, and just spending time with friends.

Council camp was quite the shock after the past two days, and I have to say it has been one heck of an experience. I'm not allowed to divulge details, but suffice it to say that I think we're a rather special batch; we've got the drive and passion for great things, now we have to materalize our dreams into reality. We will stand or fall together as 28ths, as one batch. Time will tell which.

The whistle is (still) endlessly annoying. I bet some joker will still be doing it tomorrow.

Looking forward to heading back to class tomorrow haha.

Whatever the outcome tomorrow, I'm going to give thanks to the Lord anyway for He has been so, so amazing during this period, and I'm going to trust in His plan for me. Whatever the outcome.

Thank you everyone who voted for me, all of you are much appreciated (:

I stand here before You
In wide open wonder
Amazed
At the glory of You

Church today was immensely refreshing; to be able to bask in God's presence again after the longest time -- I've been missing this for far, far too long. Amazing, amazing.

Gained back a new clarity of perspective, and the new week looks like as good a time as any to put it to use.

Whatever the result of voting (or whatever happens tomorrow during voting), I'm leaving it in God's hands. I'm really grateful for everything He's given already; the support has been encouraging to no end. May Your will be done, Your purpose revealed.

Revealing Your purpose in me

Glad that God pulled me through the whole of today (:
Just two days left! And the last piece of work to be completed tonight too, must finish by 1am! Then I can go sleep ohhh glorious sleep.

Council campaigning's been an eye-opener in many ways; spent a few hours just talking with Kartik about everything and anything, and I'm very thankful that I've got friends like these that surprise me all the time (:

Finding the right words to say, but they've been coming out all wrong recently. It's time to make a start tomorrow.

Let this banner and the proliferation thereof take over the world.

Okay maybe not anything as dramatic as that, but friends spread pls (:

(kudos to audrey!)





































:D


(edit: okay things are in full swing and getting faster! tmr's house speeches plus canteen rally plus filming of video cos the councillors lost our video >:(!!! gotta have faith that God'll pull me through. it's going to be tough!

On a much brighter note, THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE SUPPORT x)

/edit)

Play! (the band j1 concert) last night was a much much needed break from everything. I really enjoyed myself; music was great (beauty and the beast theme! my favourite disney song), the actual play itself was impressively put together (Jiawei for the script that was him all over haha, and Jiayun for the clever directing despite all the constraints - it was good!) And Jiayun's flute playing is (there's no other word to describe this --) beautiful. Whoa. (I'd like to hear Jiawei playing jazz!) We even saw Sibu again, haha I think that place'll be forever engraved in a corner of my heart.

The after concert high is something that I miss, I think almost nothing beats that euphoria. There's something magical about music, something I don't want to let slip away from my life -- haha like my piano teacher suggested maybe I really shd go play in hotels.

Before I say anything else about campaign I'd like to thank A01A and all my friends for being such an awesome bunch (: I really really appreciate the help you guys are giving; even if this doesn't pull through, I can't express my gratitude enough. (Especially Audrey! You've been amazing (= Zhihao too! for the advice thats really helped alot, alot.) Next week is it! Time to execute.




(EDIT: In the chaos of this one week I think I've lost touch with whats really important. I need to start finding and enjoying times of solitude which have been all too fleeting this week. To reflect, think, and just bask in the feeling of, well, being. I need to pray more. much much more. Lord You have been taking me through every step of the way, help me to just put everything at Your feet and to depend entirely on You because I know that my strength is not enough.

I'm sorry for the disjointed nature of this post I'm stealing time off to pen these thoughts down. And before I forget, good luck to everyone who's campaigning, we share a collective lack of sleep and way too much stress ><

Cheers!)

Campaigning's going to start in full swing soon and the preparation is already killing me.

Leaning on the Lord's strength to pull me through, whatever the outcome at least I can say: what an experience it has been/is going to be. Getting to this point has already been a huge blessing.

-Cue shameless self-publicisation-

Vote for T_T! (Tze Ern and Tian Kai hahahahhaa)

Wow 250th post. Good that it's going to be a lot more cheerful then ^_^

Somehow nature has a way of settling me down and helping me think through whats been going on. The last time I saw so many stars was in Sibu, and its no coincidence that there and then was the last time I felt so content.

I've been reacting and not thinking, which is something I have to learn to stop. Time isn't exactly slipping out of my hands now, so yes we live and learn. Although I don't agree with most of the stuff I posted just yesterday and the day before, I think it's instructive to leave it there, as a reminder to myself.

Gotta have a little more faith.

About the posts earlier, I'm just thinking aloud here; don't take everything I write that seriously. Especially the um more figurative language.

A conversation I'm having with someone now has got me thinking about whether I really know what my friends are like. Oh, the 'girlfriend element' certainly changes people...

The illogicality and irrationality of this strikes me; reminds me of the Houyhnhnms, and how man cannot solely be governed by pure rationality, because we are inherently emotional creatures. Apparently I learnt more from Gulliver's than I thought.

Hmmmm I wonder. The general idea seems to be working fine for now.

Ahh in any case, there's no point to all this thinking. The clock still turns!

Imagine theres a proverbial brick wall that I'm just bashing myself upon, and I can't see whats on the other side.

Where do we go from here? I'm really not sure, and I don't know what to think. Am feeling ambivalent about the future.

Futsal at tampines was quite fun. 5 goals for a defender, even though I bet mr lu was rather irritated with me for being extremely lazy.

Harsh Realities.

If not for the fact that the pendant was found, this post may have degenerated into an indulgence of self-condemnation. Thank God it was found, thank God.

Compared to the enjoyable mayhem that was yesterday, today was (due to the above) much more subdued. I really was nowhere near myself today, sorry. And when I'm in a mood like this, I seem to inexorably gravitate to conversations that are a great deal more gloomy than I'd like. But on the bright side I've realized alot about the way our class works, and the actual realities as opposed to the defensive self-depracation we employ. Reality hunkers in like an overgrown tramp in a small room.

Hah, what an irony. Just as well, I think I needed a huge wake up call and this is it; there's really not much time left, and in order to reach the standards set by others (and I honestly honestly believe this) in clarity, lucidity, vocabulary and style and in short everything I'm going to need for the A's I need to start working and improving now. This disillusionment better count for something because I'm most definitely not up to scratch.

The reversal of fortunes is complete: now we are the ones feeling intimidated. These barriers must be cast down, or we will never truly learn from each other. Let's see how it goes from here;






My disillusionment today runs on another level as well, but that's a long story for a place that is not a public blog. Am feeling utterly confused and more than a little lost.